Trying To Understand the Kings’ Offseason Moves

How bad can it get for Sacramento? If they knew this is how ownership would run the Kings, I’m not sure fans wouldn’t rather the team moved to Seattle two years back. Two days ago, I was KILLING the Kings for a head scratching trade with the 76ers. SAC went into clear “salary dump” mode rewarding Philadelphia a Top-10-protected first round pick, two draft swaps, and last year’s #8 pick, Nik Stauskas, for taking on the $26 million remaining on Carl Landry and Jason Thompson’s contracts. I thought the trade was completely one-sided and apparently I wasn’t alone…

F trade

Over the last three months, Vlade Divac and George Karl have reportedly been arguing about whether to trade their franchise player, Demarcus Cousins. Rumors persisted Cousins would be dealt to the Los Angeles Lakers, but nothing ever became of it. It appeared Divac won the internal battle and Cousins would remain with the Kings. Cool. But then things started getting crazy. And desperate. Crazy desperate.

In an effort to please everyone, the Kings decided to get active. First, they wanted to please their star player. How do you do that? Well you bring in other star players and make the team better. One would hope this influx of talent would lead to more winning, and winning would lead to happier players… and happier fans… The front office would look good and the owner would be happy. Presto!

Allow me to assume Divac’s position moving forward and try to understand his perspective… First, we need a new coach. George Karl sucks. He’s always complaining that we’re doing things wrong—he’s a bigger pain in the ass then that Mike Malone guy we were completely fair to. Let’s ask a guy we know DMC likes…

Calipari

No dice? Ok, Karl, I guess you can keep the job. Have you ever considered 4 guys on defense—just have the fifth suckerhang? Think it can work? I’ll hold all of these brilliant ideas for later, right now we have a dynasty to build. So let’s make that aforementioned “F” trade to open up cap space. Bam! We got $26M to bring in free agents. Let’s target some big names. Monta Ellis and Wesley Matthews are out there, and I’m sure they’d love to sign here. Let’s make them some offers…

Monta Ellis Wes Matthews

Shit. We just traded two first round picks for this space, and we have nowhere to spend it. Think we can get Tobias Harris?

Tobias Harris

Corey Brewer?

Corey Brewer

FUCK!

We traded our shooter, the guy we took with our #8 pick last year, to land free agents and no one wants to come here. It’s a good thing we picked basically the same guy with the 7th pick in the 2013 draft because Stauskas was a flop right? He scored 4.4 PPG and shot 36.5% from the field. We can’t hold onto a guy with those kinda numbers… Get rid of him!

McLemore

Korver

Again, it doesn’t matter that we had two identical players—we need TWO identical players, and we just got rid of one… But we did get some money, let’s give it to someone older and more expensive…

Belinelli

Eat your heart out, NYK! Stauskas, 21, had one season left at $2.9M, then TWO team options for $2.9M and $3.8 in 16/17 and 17/18. Who would want that kind of flexibility moving forward? We’re the Kings. It’s much wiser to pay Belinelli, 29, $6-7M per season through 2018. Team options? What are we, the Sixers? Who cares about the future? We must win NOW!

Now if you’re going to build a truly awful NBA squad in 2015, there’s really only one man who can be your cornerstone… He’s got it all—selfishness, immaturity, a complete lack of awareness, no humility, and an inflated perspective of his own value. Which reminds me, since there are NO other suitors (and trust me, no one else wants this guy) be sure to pay him whatever he wants.

Rondo

Done deal! We just replaced Darren Collison with a guy who is substantially less productive, makes twice as much money, has missed 129 games over the last four seasons, and sabotaged a competitive playoff team less than three months ago! Who said DeMarcus Cousins is our franchise player—we got Rondo!

Screen Shot 2015-07-04 at 1.54.45 PM

Kings fans, I’m sorry. Rajon Rondo? Interest in Josh Smith? You guys are truly lost. My condolences.

Simmons Simmons2

Breakfast Links 7-4-15

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Kings :: Belinelli signs 3-year deal worth $19 million

Knicks :: Derrick Williams signs 2-year deal worth $10 million

Knicks :: Robin Lopez signs 4-year deal worth $54 million

Kings :: Rondo signs one-year deal worth $9.5 million

Magic :: Tobias Harris signs 4-year deal worth $64 million

Mavs :: DeAndre Jordan signs 4-year deal worth $80+ million

Mavs :: Jefferson signs one-year deal for vet’s minimum

Mavs :: Matthews signs 4-year deal worth $65 million

Pacers :: Lavoy Allen signs 3-year deal worth $12 million

Pacers :: David West says Indy ‘threw Roy Hibbert under the bus’

Rockets :: Beverly signs 4-year deal worth $25 million

Rockets :: Corey Brewer signs 3-year deal worth $24 million

Spurs :: Aldridge signs 4-year deal worth $80 million

Recommended music: M.O.P. – “Warriorz”
I know many people prefer “First Family 4 Life,” but this is M.O.P.’s breakthrough album. “Ante Up” aside, you still have jams like “Calm Down,” “Follow Instructions,” and the title track “Warriorz.”